The Kettle Mystery II: Revenge of the Kettle
by raindropz
Summary: The Kettle. A useful thing really. I mean, not only had it pushed a narcissistic boss and his assistant together, but it also made good tea. Of course, the kettle in question was no ordinary kettle. It was possessed by a ‘spirit’. For real. Sequel to KM


Just to assure everybody that I haven't died :D

* * *

"Mai. Tea."

"Kay." Mai responded to the voice that called from inside the office, and went to the kitchen to make some tea.

"Will you get me some while you're at it Mai?" asked Takigawa, currently lazing about on the sofa.

"Sure."

"No!" Ayako spun round from the other sofa to glare at Takigawa. "Why can't you get it yourself?"

"I don't actually mind..." began Mai, but Ayako ignored her.

"I mean, the poor girl should really be at school, she's not exactly getting any cleverer hanging around here," she ignored Mai's protests, "And it really doesn't help that you have to pile an extra load of work on her back on top of all the ridiculous things Naru's been making her do recently!"

Ridiculous things.

Such as, letting herself be taken out for lunch, to 'gather research'.

Or having to help getting rid of that 'annoying spirit that kept possessing him'.

"Are you jealous?" Takigawa asked suddenly.

"Of what?"

"_You _want to make me my tea, don't you?"

Slap.

"Oh. I guess not then."

Mai sighed and shook her head, and went off to make two cups of tea. Handing one to Takigawa, she glared as he attempted to bear hug her while they were both holding cups of tea, and walked into Naru's office to give him his tea.

Something had been bothering her recently, and Ayako's words about ridiculous things had reminded her of it.

"Naru," she started, looking nervously at the handsome head which was bent over the desk, reading some file. He looked up.

"What?"

"It's about...that kettle spirit..." Naru fought a smile. (It was a good thing he was fighting it, because that _really _wasn't a Naru Thing. (Although he wasn't quite sure what things were exactly Naru Things anymore. (Wow a triple bracket))). She was going to catch on eventually. Although it had already been a month.

"What about it Mai?" Mai felt a small shiver run down her spine as he said her name, but forced herself to continue.

"Why- why hasn't it gone yet? I mean, for good? Cause you keep...kissing-" Mai went red. "Not that- I mean- well- I don't know what I mean, but-"

"Mai." Mai broke off and looked into his mocking blue eyes.

Wait.

Mocking?

"Wait!" Mai cried. "There is no kettle spirit, is there?!?!"

"...No."

"OH MY GOD!" The cry had turned into a shriek. "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!? ARE YOU SOME SORT OF PERVERT?!?!" Mai ran out of the room, shrieking incomprehensibly, leaving Naru to give way to some laughter.

Takigawa and Ayako stopped fighting as Mai ran to them, shrieking.

"Where's the fire?" Takigawa asked wildly. Mai stopped shrieking.

"There isn't one."

"Then what's the problem?" Yasuhara, (who had walked in at some time) asked.

"Naru...I feel so...._used..._" Mai shuddered.

"Why?!"

"Because...there was no kettle spirit...He just used it as an excuse...to...well, you know," she blushed. Takigawa and Ayako shared a look.

"Ah. Well, there's something we'd like to tell you," Ayako began. Takigawa gulped, and even Yasuhara looked guilty. "Naru kissed you the first time... and all those other times...because we blackmailed him to do it."

"W-what?"

"We broke the kettle , and the we blackmailed Naru through the medium of tea to go out with you, and in return we gave him back the kettle."

Mai's eyes were filling. "He was blackmailed to go out with me?"

"Yeah." Takigawa hadn't thought properly of the consequences of his plan, and now he was deeply regretting it. "I'm so sorry, Mai. We had no idea he'd actually play along."

Play along.

That's all he was doing.

---

Naru had stopped laughing.

He'd just realised what could possibly happen. Striding out of his office, he called to Ayako and Takigawa, not even noticing that Yasuhara had arrived.

"Where's Mai gone?"

"Out. For an early lunch." Takigawa shook his head sadly. Naru let out a breath of agitation and ran a hand through his raven hair.

"What did she tell you?"

"That there wasn't a kettle spirit. Is that what you made her believe?" Ayako asked as Naru walked over to them and collapsed onto a couch in a very normal teenage boy way.

"Yeah, although Mai thought it up originally, because I was acting differently, and because you lot kept messing around with the kettles."

"So had you actually tricked her before we tricked you?" Takigawa frowned. Naru nodded.

"Poor girl," Ayako sighed.

"I mean, it's not like I don't," Naru had begun to reason his case, but as the three stared interestedly at him, he shut up. "Nothing." He stood up quickly. "I'm going back to work," he walked back into his office, leaving them to sigh at Naru's and their silliness.

"You know," began Yasuhara, "I think it's time we went back to my perfect tea idea."

"Really? Don't you think we should stop meddling?" Ayako frowned.

"Maybe. But you know," Yasuhara leant forwards, his glasses gleaming, "Tea is the key."

---

Meanwhile.

In the kitchen.

The kettle wanted revenge.

Soon.

---

So Takigawa had forced Naru into kissing her, and too embarrassed to admit it, Naru had pretended that he was possessed by a kettle spirit.

How could she have believed such a stupid lie?

Argh.

And now she was hurting, because she had been an idiot. (And because she had walked into a wall while trying to turn a corner too sharply- it happens).

Life sucks.

---

Ayako went to the kitchen to make a refill cup of tea. Mai hadn't come back yet, and although she wanted to ring her, she knew that Mai needed her space right now. Ayako filled up the brand new kettle and put it on the base to turn it on.

As she leaned against the worktop and tapped her fingers against it, her thoughts suddenly took a sudden turn to a certain monk sitting in the next room.

Did he want a cup of tea?

Or did he want something more than that?

Whooaa.

Where had that come from?

But now she thought of it...

Hhhmmmmm....

NO! Ayako slapped her forehead with her perfectly manicured hand in an attempt to force the thought out. She was so concentrated in trying to cleanse her thoughts that she didn't notice the odd noise the kettle was making.

The kettle began to splutter.

Ayako still hadn't noticed.

The kettle suddenly made a really high pitched note (like that guy from Britain's Got Talent) and before Ayako knew what was going on, the kettle had fallen onto the floor, steam hissing out of the spout.

Ayako frowned and reached to pick the kettle up, but in doing so her finger glanced against the hot metal side. If she hadn't been so busy screaming her head off, she would have heard the sneaky laugh that the kettle gave.

"OW OW MY GOD OW!!!" She screamed as she hopped around the kitchen. Takigawa came running in, looking wild.

"What the hell is going on?!?" he yelled.

"The kettle!!!" Ayako put her finger in her mouth and wailed at the same time.

"What happened?!?"

"I burbed by bingaar!!!" Ayako cried, finger still in her mouth.

"Eh?" Takigawa blinked. Ayako ripped her finger out of her mouth.

"I BURNED MY FINGEERRR!!!" she shrieked.

"Oh. You cry baby! Pull yourself together woman!" Takigawa began to clean up the mess, picking up the kettle Ayako had dropped and putting it back on the counter.

Ayako glared at him. "Shut up, you idiot! It hurts!! " Takigawa straightened and stared at her seriously.

"Really?" he asked her with proper earnest. Ayako felt her heart quicken. Traitor.

"Well, not, not really no..." she trailed off, looking into Takigawa's eyes.

Ayako found her body swaying towards him. Traitor.

Takigawa blinked.

"Well thank god for that!" he said, interrupting the intense moment they'd just shared. "Sometimes you're so stupid!"

And then he walked away.

Ayako stared at his retreating figure.

And then picked up the kettle and threw it at him.

Not having eyes at the back of his head or super human hearing, Takigawa did not see or hear the kettle coming until it had smashed into his back.

Takigawa stopped moving.

Lin, who had just walked in, stopped to watch the scene with morbid curiosity.

Yasuhara began to shake with laughter.

Even Naru, who had opened the door to demand a reason for the commotion, stilled.

Takigawa slowly turned around like he was in a western movie.

"What," he began, "did you do that for?" Ayako suddenly found herself speechless. What (or who) had possessed her to throw the kettle? She stared at her hands. She hadn't meant to throw the damn thing. Her hands had just, well, _moved._

And so, Ayako did what the bravest woman would have done in her position.

She fled.

---

Mai slowly made her way back to the office. Her lunch break had been stretched out as long as possible, but really, she couldn't put off going back any longer.

Her hand was just reaching the handle when the door was wrenched open from the other side and a wild Ayako flashed past her. Mai watched her go, confused. Shrugging, she walked inside.

Takigawa was standing in the middle of the room, clutching his back. Yasuhara was holding an ice pack. There was a kettle on the floor. Naru was standing by his office door, shaking his head, and Lin looked like he was _laughing_.

"Um, did I miss something?" She asked quietly. Everyone turned to look at her, each wearing mixed expressions of guilt and doubt.

"Ayako threw a kettle at me," explained Takigawa.

Mai nodded. "I see. Well. If that's it, I have some filing to do." She walked into the filing room, leaving the rest of the room staring after her.

---

What was he supposed to do? It was annoying him senseless that despite how knowledgeable he was, when it came to teenage girls and _feelings_, he was entirely stupid.

Naru hated stupid people.

I mean, he knew he'd been an idiot to play along with the whole 'I've been possessed by a kettle spirit', but he could never find the right time to actually tell her the truth.

Because the truth was, there was a truth. He hadn't been dating her for the sake of it.

Stupid kettle spirit.

---

As Takigawa, John (he just turned up, ok? He'll be there when he needs to be there) and Yasuhara were chatting on the sofas, (Lin went back to his office), the kettle remained on the floor, forgotten.

Takigawa grimaced as Yasuhara lifted up his shirt to see the damage.

"Oooh Bou-san, what hard muscles you have..." he gushed as he prodded what was going to be a delightful purple bruise in a couple of hours.

"Ow. Ow. Ow." Takigawa muttered. That crazy beautiful witch had tried to throw another kettle at him, again for no reason, and this time it had worked.

Beautiful witch?

That had to be an oxymoron.

Well. She was beautiful...and she was a witch....so yeah. Made sense.

But why was she a witch?

_Because she had bewitched him..._

"So should we proceed with Operation Tea is the Key, or not?" Yasuhara asked as he pressed the ice pack to Takigawa's back.

He winced. "I don't think so. I mean, it's time they sorted things out by themselves." Yasuhara snorted.

"Yeah, like that will ever happen. There'll be a real kettle spirit before then..."

---

Mai kicked the table leg. Twice. The first time had been an accident, but then she had gotten really really angry and decided to do it again.

Now she was regretting her decision.

As she stuffed the files back into the cabinet, she heard a "Mai...tea," coming from Naru's office. Muttering words that made sense on their own but not when she put them together, Mai went over to the kitchen to make some tea, wondering if she really should put poison in it, because god knew how many times she'd threatened to do it in all those fanfiction stories.

Mai stared at the kitchen table.

---

Ayako walked in.

"Look Takigawa I'm really sorry about hitting you with a kettle I really don't know what came over me it was like I was possessed or something so I just wanted to say I'm sorry-" Ayako was reeling of the apology she had learnt without taking a breath, but then she noticed the...odd situation she was looking at.

Yasuhara was fondly massaging Takigawa's back.

Takigawa, realising that he looked _just a little bit gay_, swatted Yasuhara away and went a shade of red rare in a man.

Takigawa shrugged in an attempt to be cool. "It was a weak throw. How's your finger?" Ayako blinked, then smiled. Takigawa smiled back, colour fading.

"Would you like to go out with me?" Takigawa said suddenly.

"Oh Takigawa I'd love too!!" Yasuhara squealed and threw his arms around the man.

Mai walked in from the kitchen, took one look at the scene, and carried on walking to Naru's office.

---

Naru's door opened, and he put a scowl on his face for whoever it was to see that he was not impressed about them not knocking. But then it was Mai and his scowl faded.

Mai.

What was she doing here?

Did she want to see him again?

Did she want to hear the explanation he'd never really (as of yet) bothered to make?

Oh. No. She was here to give him the tea he'd asked for.

Except she was missing a few tiny little details.

"Mai, tea usually requires a tea cup. And some tea in it." He stared at her empty hands. Wow. She had really nice hands. How come he had never noticed that before?

"Well duh, but- but there's no kettle. Again."

---

Takigawa froze.

"What's going on?" He said. "Yasuhara, get off me!!" Yasuhara moved away, confused.

"Takigawa, are you all right?"

"Of course I am! Why were you on me? And why are you looking at me like that?" he asked Ayako, who was gaping at him.

"Takigawa...are you feeling yourself?" Ayako asked slowly.

"Well yeah, but I just like blanked out for a few minutes. I remember you coming in, and an ice pack, but then," he shrugged.

Ayako blinked.

No way.

---

Mai blushed as she felt a sense of déjà-vu creeping over her. It was like events were repeating themselves, which would mean that Naru would kiss her....

Although he wouldn't.

"The kettles behind one of the sofas," Naru explained. "Nobody picked it up after Ayako threw it."

"Oh." Mai looked at the ground, then once up at Naru, her face full of hope like a puppy in a shop window.

And Naru was lost for words.

She just looked so... _adorable_ that he just sat there staring at her like a half wit, completely forgetting that it was time for him to tell her the truth. The Truth.

But before he could get out a perfectly formed word she had looked away sadly, and backed out of the office, closing the door behind her.

Takigawa spotted her forlorn face as she walked past them to look behind the sofas.

"Aw Mai, have you two not sorted things out yet?"

"What is there to sort out?" Mai mumbled, picking up a cushion that had fallen behind the sofas.

"AAW MAAIIIIIII" Yasuhara and Takigawa chimed in perfect harmony and went to give her a bear hug. "It's ok, it's ok," Yasuhara crooned. "I know what it feels like. Takigawa said he'd go out with me, but then it turns out he was lying. Some kettle spirit. Ha." He shot Takigawa a glare over Mai's head. Takigawa shrugged.

"I'm straight." He apologised. Ayako rolled her eyes from the sofa, still incredibly confused as Yasuhara gave a loud sob.

"Ah well Mai! We two spinsters can hook up! I'll be your boyfriend!"

"You'll be no such thing," a cool but annoyed voice said from behind them. Naru stood scowling at them.

He was here to tell The Truth.

John laughed nervously. Yasuhara's eyes sparkled.

"Oh, but as far as I know, Mai's not currently dating anyone, isn't that right Mai?" Mai looked like a deer caught in headlamps, but she gave a confused nod, looking at Naru.

"I do not permit relationships between members of staff," he said in a clipped voice.

"Ah, but I'm not actually a member of-"

"Get. Out." Naru growled, and pointed at the door. Mai gaped at him.

"Naru you can't-"

"Mai can you not keep quiet for _one minute??" _Naru bit out, but fell silent. He was shocked at his irrational anger. He wasn't angry at her. He was angry at himself, and somehow he had managed to take it out on Mai.

And now Mai was angry at him.

Because that was the way the cookie crumbled.

"WHAT THE HELL? ARE YOU GOD OR SOMETHING?" She furiously tore herself away from Yasuhara and Takigawa and glared at the floor. "THERE'S NO BLOODY KETTLE HERE ANYWAY, AND I'M NOT BUYING YOU ANOTHER BLOODY ONE, NO MATTER HOW MANY BLOODY SPIRITS MIGHT BE POSSESSING YOU!"

"The kettle's over here," John said, pointing to the coffee table.

"How did-" began Takigawa

"-it get there?" Yasuhara finished.

There was a long silence.

"Am I going to get any tea or should I give up on it altogether?" Naru's voice cut through the silence. Mai scowled at walked over to the kettle

"You two should make up you know," Ayako said like somebody's mother. "You need to talk it out."

"There's nothing to talk about," Mai muttered, snatching the kettle from the table. "You blackmailed Naru, Naru lied to me, nothing means anything-"

The kettle shrieked.

Mai shrieked and dropped the kettle. Naru went to her quickly.

"Stay back," he warned, holding her wrist and moving her away from the kettle. Steam was gushing out of the spout.

"Naru," John said slowly, "That kettle's not connected to anything..."

"Ayako," Naru turned to her sharply. "When you threw the kettle at Takigawa, was it intentional?"

"No. I had no idea what I was doing. And Takigawa just, just asked me out, but he can't remember a thing..."

"I don't understand," Mai frowned at Naru.

Naru couldn't help a tiny smile. It was ironic, after all.

"We're going to have to exorcise it," Takigawa decided. "John do you have some holy water or something?"

"That wouldn't work," Naru interrupted. "The kettle thrives on water, so giving it holy water would probably make it worse."

"Like a giant holy kettle spirit." Yasuhara added.

"No way." Mai shook her head in disbelief. "There's _actually _a kettle spirit?? How long has it been here? Who is it?!?"

"Where's Masako when we need her?" Ayako asked.

"We don't need Masako," Naru and Mai said simultaneously. Mai blushed. Naru hadn't let go of her wrist yet. Not that she wanted him to. He'd probably forgotten he was holding her.

The kettle was rolling from side to side, and suddenly Mai sensed the spirit leaving the kettle.

"N-Naru," she stammered. Naru, sensing the spirit as well, moved to stand in front of Mai. Mai clutched at the back of his shirt, peering from around the side of his arm.

"That's a biig spirit," Takigawa muttered.

There was a sudden rush of movement, (see THIS is why I don't write normal GH fics) , and before Takigawa or Ayako could rush to help, the spirit had loomed over the room and rammed into Naru. Naru stumbled back, Mai trying to support his weight. They fell onto the ground, Naru landing on top of Mai, who let out an "oof" at having the breath taken out of her.

"Mai move away. He might be dangerous," Takigawa warned.

"Yeah, I'm trying," Mai gasped, struggling under Naru's back. She had just about wriggled from under him when Naru muttered something and stood up. Mai scrambled up.

And fainted onto the ground.

"_Kana, tea!" The voice came from the office door. The same office. Mai watched a young girl with black hair smile as she came out from the kitchen._

"_It's already done!" The door that was now Naru's office opened and a tall blonde man walked out to get it from her. He was very good looking, Mai had to admit (though not a patch on Naru), but he barely seemed to notice the girl as she gave him his tea. Mai shook her head, knowing the feeling as the girl looked crestfallen as the man murmured thanks and walked away again. The girl's fists clenched as she watched his back._

"_Why don't you love me??" she shouted at him, tears streaming down her face. _

_The man turned around._

"_I don't love you," he said coldly, "Because you're stupid."_

_Mai's jaw dropped. The girl's eyes widened, but then narrowed._

"_Oh, oh really?" she glared at him, before storming into the kitchen and grabbing the kettle." I'll show you who's stupid." She chucked the kettle at him. He ducked smoothly, and by some weird stroke of fate the kettle bounced back against the wall and hit the girl on the head. She slumped to the ground._

_And apparently she died._

Mai blinked her eyes open.

Naru.

He was leaning over her, and he was all she could see.

Damn.

He looked even better close up.

At the fluttering of her eyelids, Naru moved away from her sight to sit on the nearby chair. She was lying on one of the sofas in the reception, and apparently, she and Naru were the only ones around.

"How long was I asleep?" Mai asked, sitting up. Naru coughed, and for a split second Mai could have sworn he looked embarrassed about something.

"I don't know. I was possessed. Did you find out the story about the kettle spirit?"

"Yeah. There was a girl who used to live here...and she," Mai coughed, and Naru could have sworn she looked embarrassed, "she was in love with her boss. But he- he didn't seem to feel the same way, so she threw a kettle at him and it bounced back and hit her and she must have died."

Naru nodded. "I see."

"So...how did they exorcise the spirit?" Mai began, noticing with a sinking heart that Naru STILL offered no explanation for why he had been kissing her when he hadn't (then) been possessed by a spirit.

Oh the irony of it all...

"Takigawa exorcised it." Naru said shortly.

There was a stifled laughter from the kitchen, and Naru scowled as Ayako, Yasuhara, John and Takigawa burst out, bent over with laughter.

"What's so funny?" Mai asked blankly. Naru glared at them.

"Oh Mai, you should have seen it!" Ayako gasped, holding on to Takigawa for support. Yasuhara wiped a tear from under his glasses.

"What happened?" Mai asked again, feeling irritation rising.

"Well," began Takigawa, but then burst out laughing again. "I'm sorry- you tell it Ayako!"

"WHAT HAPPENED?!?" Mai yelled. Naru rolled his eyes, and got up and went into his office.

Lin, who had been standing there for a bit (he'd come out to help the possessed Naru) took pity on Mai.

"Naru, possessed by the spirit of a girl in love with her boss, er, decided to do what she always wished her boss had done, so, er-"

"Naru made out with you." Yasuhara said flatly. "A lot."

"He did?" Mai squeaked, suddenly blushing furiously. _She'd missed that?!?!_

"Yeah. Takigawa exorcised the spirit eventually with an, ah, original chant."

"Oh yeah." Takigawa nodded proudly. "Naumakusanmandateaisthekey."

"Tea is the key?"

"Tea is always the key."

"Oh. So there's no more kettle spirits?"

"Nope. Everything will go back to normal." Ayako announced. Mai nodded, trying to ignore the feeling in her heart. Lin, perhaps the most perceptive man in the world, (it's all that sitting at the computer) said

"I think Naru might like some tea."

-

Takigawa turned to Ayako. "Hm. When I was possessed, I think I asked you out, right?"

"Yes," Ayako scowled at the injustice of it all, annoyed that Takigawa had brought it up.

He sighed. "Then I guess the spirit beat me to it."

Ayako turned quickly to him. John smiled, and Yasuhara whispered a disgrutled "Damn that matchmaking kettle spirit doing a better job than me", while shaking an angry fist at the ceiling.

"What do you mean?" Ayako asked quickly.

"D'you wanna go out with me?"

"Ooh Takigawa yes!" Yasuhara squealed and ran to hug Takigawa, who sighed in irritation at the bear hug Yasuhara was giving him. Ayako laughed, hesitated, and nodded.

-

There was a knock on the door, and Mai walked in holding a cup of tea.

"I didn't ask for tea," Naru said, confused.

"Lin said- ah well, here's some tea." Naru watched in some amusement at the way Mai liked to speak only to the carpet. She hadn't moved, apparently unsure at how to act or what to think. Naru stood up and walked towards her, to take the tea from her hands and place it on his desk. Mai looked up quickly as their hands brushed, and their eyes met.

"How do you feel?" Mai blurted out.

"Fine. Better than fine, actually."

"Did they, uh, tell you what happened?"

"Yes."

"And....you feel..." Mai couldn't help the hope that began to balloon.

"Quite annoyed."

Mai's head drooped. "Oh. I see."

Naru sighed. "I don't think you do. You were always a bit slow like that."

"What the hell- why are you always so mean to-" Mai was silenced by Naru's insistent lips meeting hers.

"I'm annoyed that I missed feeling this again," he murmured against her skin, before kissing her again. Mai pulled away with some difficulty.

"I don't think you meant that," she whispered, looking away. Naru raised an eyebrow.

"Didn't I?

"Then the spirit must be back-"

"Why is it so hard to believe that I kiss you because I actually _want _to?"

"Because you don't." Mai put up her chin stubbornly.

"Only I do." Naru's exasperation had been replaced by amusement. "Takigawa's blackmail and the first kettle spirit was just an excuse for me to go out with you. Believe me, if I hadn't wanted to, I wouldn't have."

He had a point there.

"So why did you play along with it, if you didn't need to?"

Naru wasn't sure whether to blame her folly for believing it or his cowardice for not admitting the truth.

So he did neither. And decided to kiss her instead, because that usually solved quite a few problems. It seemed to weaken Mai's resistance either way, because she sighed and put her arms around his neck, kissing him back.

And far off in the sky, a young girl sitting in a cloud, sipped from a cup of tea and smiled.

Tea was the key.

* * *

Lol it didn't really need a sequel, but I thought it would never have lasted forever, so this is what would happen if Mai were to finally get sensible.

Hope yall enjoyed, and had a good summer hols! My ten weeks is now over *sobs* but it's been good :D

Review if you know what's good for you, kay??

xxx


End file.
